Psycho Brother Clips Head/Transcript

This is the transcript for Psycho Brother Clips Head.

Transcript
(the video opens with Jeffrey pointing the camera at a mirror, where we can see him holding a pair of scissors alongside the camera)

Jeffrey: Hello.

(he starts to walk towards the basement)

Jeffrey: Alright, so my baby brother Jesse is downstairs, taking a little nappy-poo. I'm gonna go down there... and take off some of his little locks.

(he shows the scissors in front of the camera)

Jeffrey: And why am I doing this? Just for another YouTube video.

(he starts to slowly walk down the stairs while singing The Pink Panther theme)

Jeffrey: Fucking creaky ass stairs...

(he looks into a room, and spots Jesse, who is asleep on a couch)

Jeffrey: (whispering) I spotted him...

(while holding the scissors in front of the camera, he slowly walks around the room towards Jesse until he is behind his head. He then snips off two pieces of Jesse's hair, which causes him to wake up)

Jesse: Dude, what the...?

Jeffrey: (as he backs away) *laughs*

Jesse: Did you just cut off some of my hair?!

Jeffrey: No, I did not.

Jesse: Holy shit!

(he picks up the pieces of hair)

Jeffrey: *bursts out laughing*

Jesse: Are you fucking kidding me?! I've been growing this out for like a year!

Jeffrey: *laughs*

Jesse: And you're...

(he throws a pillow at Jeffrey)

Jesse: I fucking hate you!

Jeffrey: *laughs*

Jesse: You're filming this shit and you're gonna put it on YouTube!

(he starts running upstairs)

Jesse: Dad!

Jeffrey: *laughs* Oh, yeah, just drop your little locks everywhere! I'm gonna have to pick that up later!

(he starts running up the stairs after him, Boobs is seen at the door blocking Jesse)

Jeffrey: Oh, hey, Ella!

Jesse: Get... get away from me!

Jeffrey: *laughs*

Jesse: Ella, please move!

Jeffrey: (in a childish voice) It'll grow back! It'll grow back! It's okay!

(Jesse starts banging on his parents' bedroom door, and starts shouting for them)

Jeffrey: You don't have to...

Jesse: Dad!

Jeffrey: (childish voice) Oh, no, he's gonna squirt some, oh, no!

Jesse: Shut the fuck up!

Jeffrey: (childish voice) Oh, my dear!

(Jeff Sr. comes out of the room)

Jeffrey: Oh, here we go!

Jeff Sr.: What's the problem?

Jesse: He cut off some of my hair!

Jeffrey: *chuckles*

Jeff Sr.: Well, I can't see any missing!

Jesse: It's in the back!

Jeffrey: He's got so much, he's fine!

Jesse: How am I gonna get a girlfriend, now!?

Jeff Sr.: *walks towards Jeffrey* Give me them, give me them, give me the things, come on!

Jeffrey: Oh, God, no. No!

Jeff Sr.: Give me them!

(he takes the scissors from Jeffrey)

Jeffrey: Goddamn it.

Jesse: Wow! You actually did something good for once! Thank you!

Jeff Sr.: What do you mean...?

Jeffrey: As hair flies off his head...*laughs*

Jeff Sr.: Where is it?

Jesse: *turns around* Right in the back... I'm never gonna get--

(Jeff Sr. snips a third piece of his hair off)

Jesse: Ow, what are you fucking...?!

Jeff Sr.: There, leave it!

Jeffrey: *laughs*

Jesse: I hate this family! God!

(Jesse and Jeff Sr. start to argue why Jesse and Jeffrey don't get along)

Jesse: Why can't you just be a good dad?!

(Terri comes out of a room, angered by the argument)

Terri: That's it! I'm sick and tired of it!

Jeffrey: Oh, shit...

Terri: Will you just be quiet for once, and can we have a normal family?

(she looks at Jeffrey)

Terri: And you need to stop videoing!

Jeffrey: I'm not. It's... it's... it's...

(Terri starts to approach Jeffrey)

Terri: People don't need to see this!

Jeffrey: It's not a thing.

Terri: Why would you want people to see it?

Jeffrey: No!

(the video ends)