Simon

CORN ZACHATER."Some days I just... don't even feel like getting out of bed, I'm glad to know I'm not in this alone."

- "Everyday Situations" 25: Opening Boxes

Simon is the deuteragonist in "Everyday Situations", portrayed by Zachary "Corn" Cornatzer. He is known for his tendency to sigh whenever he faces bad luck. He is also a known Gaylord in the New Jersey Elmer community and is known for asking teenagers from ages 16-18 if he could quote "suckle on their foreskins", and "spread their smegma (dick cheese) on toast and feed it to em".

Season One
TBA.