Psycho Dad Grills Wii U/Transcript

This is the transcript for Psycho Dad Grills Wii U.

Transcript
(The video opens with Jeffrey filming Jesse holding Jeff Sr.'s trophies, the two are preparing to smash them in front of Jeff Sr. to get revenge for the Play Button's destruction)

Jeffrey: Ready for this?

Jesse: Yeah. Let's do it.

Jeffrey: Alright.

Jesse: Could you open the door for me?

Jeffrey: (annoyed) Yeah, sure.

(he opens the door for Jesse)

Jeffrey: See you on the other side...

(Jesse walks outside, where Jeff Sr. is grilling hamburgers)

Jesse: Hey, Dad!

(Jesse dumps the box of trophies on the ground)

Jeff Sr.: What the hell are you doing?!

Jesse: Yeah, you remember... Hey! Hey! Hey, calm down. Calm down. Remember how you destroyed my Play Button for YouTube?

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, I remember it very well!

(Jesse smashes one of the trophies onto the ground)

Jeffrey: Oh, my God!

Jeff Sr.: (angered) What the hell ails you?

Jesse: Back up! You come any closer and I'm going to destroy more!

(Jesse smashes another trophy)

Jesse: Look! There goes your precious baseball trophy!

Jeff Sr.: Oh, you want to bust my stuff? Yeah, I'll bust yours! I'll bust yours!

Jesse: Second place!

Jeffrey: All his idea! All his idea!

(Jeff Sr. walks inside)

Jesse: Where you going? Dad? Dad! Hey, hey, hey!

(they start walking towards Jesse's room)

Jesse: Look, this doesn't solve anything! This is not about this!

Jeff Sr.: You started it.

Jesse: Hey, hey, hey!

(Jeff Sr. enters Jesse's room)

Jesse: (to Jeffrey) I thought you locked it!

Jeffrey: Why would I lock it?

Jesse: Dad! Dad!

Jeff Sr.: You cast the first stone.

Jesse: Don't you touch a thing in this room! Dad!

(Jeff Sr. grabs ahold of Jesse's Wii U. In response, Jeffrey grabs Jesse's Wii U Gamepad and hides it in the couch cushions)

Jeffrey: (as he hides the Gamepad) Oh, shit--!

Jesse: Dad! Dad! Let go of that! What are you-

(Jeff Sr. pushes Jesse away, causing him to fall on his bed as Jeff Sr. leaves the room)

Jesse: Jesus Christ. Come back here! Dad, this has nothing to do with this!

(he chases after Jeff Sr.)

Jeff Sr.: You started it...

(they walk outside)

Jesse: Dad, what are you planning on doing with it? What are you planning on doing?

(he goes to grab the trophies)

Jesse: I'm going to destroy more!

Jeffrey: Is that his fucking...?

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, bust my shit. I will bust yours.

Jeffrey: Holy shit, he got the Wii...

Jesse: (threatening to smash the trophies) Yeah, don't. Don't.

Jeff Sr.: (holding the Wii U over the grill) Ooh! Ooh.

Jesse: Don't...

Jeff Sr.: Ooh. What are you going to do?

Jesse: Dad, please.

Jeff Sr.: What are you going to do?

Jeffrey: Fuck...

Jesse: Don't.

Jeff Sr.: Mhm.

Jesse: Don't.

Jeff Sr.: Yeah.

(Jesse smashes another trophy)

Jeffrey: Jesus Christ!

Jesse: There it goes! There goes a big one, Dad!

(Jeff Sr. throws the Wii U onto the grill, and lights it on fire)

Jesse: Dad...!

Jeffery: Holy shit!

Terri: What are you doing? Stop it!

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, that's what you get.

Jeffery: Holy shit!

Jesse: Fuck!

Terri: I gave that to him for Christmas! That was from me!

Jeff Sr.: I don't care!

Terri: You can't do that! That doesn't teach him anything!

Jeff Sr.: He started busting my stuff, I'll bust his!

Terri: He loves the video games. You do not teach him anything!

Jeffery: Damn.

(Jesse flips the grill)

Jeff Sr.: You started it. Oh, that's real logical.

Jeffery: Jesus Christ.

Jesse: That's what... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeff Sr.: Bust another one! Bust another one, go ahead!

Jesse: You already destroyed my Wii U, I've nothing left to lose!

Jeff Sr.: Get out of the house.

Terri: Everybody, calm down!

Jeff Sr.: Get out, get out. You go.

Jesse: (upset) I'm not going anywhere. Mom? Mom? Mom?

(Jesse walks up to Terri)

Terri: He doesn't have to leave!

Jesse: Yeah, what do you mean, "Get"?

Jeff Sr.: Get: Get out of the house.

Jesse: I'm not leaving this house.

Terri: You taught him all of this stuff!

Jeff Sr.: You're gone.

Jesse: What about Easter?

Jeff Sr.: You started it.

Jesse: What about Easter?

Jeff Sr.: You're not here for Easter.

Jesse: Easter is in a few days.

Jeff Sr.: You're not. You're out. You're out for Easter.

Terri: No, Jesse, don't.

(Jesse smashes another trophy)

Terri: Jesse, don't go! Jeff!

(Jesse screams and runs into the woods, with Jeff Sr. chasing him)

Jeffery: Ah, Jesus Christ.

Terri: This has got to stop.

(Jesse screams loudly as Jeff Sr. stops chasing him)

Jeffery: Goddamn.

Jeff Sr.: You thought so huh?

Jesse: Knock it off!

Terri: You need to stop filming.

Jeffery: Holy shit, is that...

(he checks the grill)

Jeffrey: Are there flames inside that? That's still on fire.

(the camera cuts to Jeffrey and Terri inspecting the remains of the Wii U. Jesse can be heard screaming)

Jeffery: That burned right through that sucker! That sucks. Oh, great.

(Jeff Sr. walks back to the patio)

Jeff Sr.: (to Terri) What are you doing? Put it down. I can't believe this. It is a bunch of crap. Seriously.

Jeffrey: Is he...

Jeff Sr.: What goes through his head?

Terri: What goes through your head?

Jeffrey: Is he really out of the house?

Jeff Sr.: What do you mean what goes through my head!?

Terri: You started it.

Jeff Sr.: I didn't start this.

Terri: You started this a long time ago.

Jeff Sr.: He started it. It was over and done with.

Terri: Destroying his video stuff all the time...

(Jeff Sr. inspects the damage done to the grill and the trophies)

Jeff Sr.: Look at this crap. Man.

Jeffrey: Yeah, I... yeah, it was all his idea. I just filmed it.

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, you have to film it too.

Jeffrey: Yeah, he posts it on Youtube.

(Terri starts placing hamburger buns that fell on the ground back onto their plate)

Jeff Sr.: Come on, leave it alone. I'll get it.

Terri: Oh, don't tell me what to do.

Jeff Sr.: I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just telling you I would get it.

Jeffrey: Jesus.

Terri: And he's not leaving the house either.

Jeff Sr.: Yes, he is. He's gotta learn.

Terri: No, he's not.

Jeff Sr.: No, seriously, he's gotta learn.

Terri: He's not leaving.

Jeff Sr.: (in a serious tone of voice) But he's gotta learn. What are we going to do? Coddle him the rest of his life? He's gotta learn. Kick him out for a little while.

Terri: You're not teaching him anything. What do you mean he's gotta learn?

(Jeff Sr. tries to argue)

Terri: You're not teaching him anything!

Jeff Sr.: He does whatever he wants...and then he just gets away with it.

Terri: You're teaching him to destroy stuff. That's what you're doing!

Jeff Sr.: Well, half the stuff we bought. It doesn't matter.

Terri: I bought him that Wii U with my money! It was my... it was a Christmas present from me!

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, didn't say a word to me about it, did you?

Terri: Well, you don't have to know!

Jeffrey: Jesus.

(Jeff Sr. goes back to inspect the trophies as the video ends)