Psycho Dad Wrecks Car

This is the transcript for Psycho Dad Wrecks Car.


(The video opens with Jeffrey walking towards Jesse and Jeff Sr., who are arguing over Jesse's Xbox 360 and job interviews he was supposed to be taking part in)

Jesse: Dad! Dad!

Jeff Sr.: What is it!?

Jeffrey: Shit. Shit. Shit.

Jesse: That's my Xbox that you broke!

Jeffrey: The fuck's going on over here?

Jeff Sr.: Where'd you get it from!?

Jesse: I mean, I fixed it today!

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, but you were supposed to do job interviews today too, weren't you!?

Jesse: Yeah! Yeah! Look at what I'm wearing! I did do it!

Jeff Sr.: Yeah!

Jesse: I applied! And now I can play video games because I'm going to have a job!

Jeff Sr.: (holds the Xbox up to Jesse) Where did you get the money for it!?

Jesse: I had money! Birthdays, Christmas!

Jeff Sr.: Yeah, that doesn't count! I know you're out of money! Where'd you get the money!?

Jesse: Mom...

Jeff Sr.: Your mother!?

Jesse: Mom gives me money.

Jeff Sr.: Your mother gave you money!?

Jesse: Yeah.

(In a fit of rage, Jeff Sr. throws the Xbox through the back window of Jesse's car, shattering it)

Jesse: Dad! DAD! Holy shit!

Jeffrey: Holy fuck.

Jesse: Dad! Dad!

Jeffrey: Holy shit.

Jesse: Now how am I gonna go to work, huh!? Huh, how the fuck am I gonna go to work!?

Jeffrey: Holy shit.

(Jesse notices that Jeffrey is filming him)

Jesse: Are you...? Oh, get the fuck out of here! Are you kidding me!?

Jeffrey: *chuckles*

Jesse: Dad does this and...*stutters*...Dad is-

(Out of nowhere, Jeff Sr. starts smashing the car's windows with a metal pipe.)

Jesse: Holy shit! What the fuck!? Woah!

Jeffrey: Oh my God!

Jesse: Dad!

(Jesse starts screaming as Jeff Sr. continues to smash the car's windows.)

Jesse: Oh! Fuck! Do you realize how dangerous this is!?

(Jeff Sr. ignores him and continues smashing the windows, causing Jesse to continue screaming.)

Jesse: Fuck! Get me out of here!

(Jesse takes his tie off, as Jeff Sr. smashes the remaining windows on the car (save for the windshield)

Jesse: Fuck! There's glass everywhere!

(Jeff Sr. smashes a brake light, tosses the pipe away, and approaches Jesse)

Jeff Sr.: Where's the keys?

Jesse: I don't want...

Jeff Sr.: Where's the keys!?

Jesse: I don't wanna do this anymore!

Jeff Sr.: Where's the keys?

Jesse: Fucking just take them!

(Jesse tosses the keys to his car on the ground and walks away, Jeff Sr. picks them up and starts walking back towards the car)

Jesse: (walking towards Jeffrey and unbuttoning his shirt) Fuck! Stop filming this! This isn't entertaining for all you people watching! Fuck!

Jeffrey: *laughs*

(Jeff Sr. enters the car)

Jesse: This cost a lot of money!

(Jeff Sr. starts the car)

Jesse: DAD! Dad!

(Jeff Sr. backs the car up to a pile of firewood)

Jesse: What are you doing!? Hey! Dad!

(Jesse takes off his shirt)

Jesse: I need this! I need this! Fuck!

(he throws the shirt on the ground)

Jesse: Fuck! What the hell are you doing!?

(Jeff Sr. gets out of the car, and picks up a large piece of firewood.)

Jesse: Dad!? Dad!

(Jeff Sr. slams the firewood against the windshield, heavily denting it.)

(Jesse starts screaming)

Jeffrey: Oh my God.

Jeff Sr.: You're mine! Starting tomorrow, you're mowing lawns, you're gonna make a living! You're mine!

Jesse: I don't wanna mow lawns!

Jeff Sr.: Tough, you are!

Jesse: I don't wanna be your slave!

(Jeff Sr. swats his hand at Jesse in disapproval, and starts walking away, while Jesse looks back at his wrecked car)

Jesse: Ah...what am I...?

(he screams again, and looks at Jeffrey)

Jesse: And don't even care!

(Jesse walks over to his car and kicks the front of it)

Jesse: Fuck!

Jeffrey: *laughs*

Jesse: And you laugh!?

(Jeffrey continues laughing)

Jesse: And you laugh! God!

(Jesse starts taking his shoes off and throwing them)

Jesse: Fucking hate this shit! Fucking clown shoes!

(Jesse starts ripping his undershirt)

Jesse: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

(Jesse starts walking towards a puddle)

Jeffrey: You gonna get a bath?

(Jesse falls into the puddle)

Jeffrey: *bursts out laughing*

(Jesse starts weeping as Jeffrey continues laughing)

Jesse: You think that's funny!? Fucking piece of shit!

(Jesse gets out of the puddle and leans against another pile of logs, continuing to weep as he does so)

Jeffrey: *laughs*

Jesse: (flips the bird at Jeffrey) I fucking hate you!

Jeffrey: Adult life!

Jesse: You know what? If I'm gonna get my car destroyed...I'm gonna destroy this goddamn camera! COME HERE!

(Jesse charges at Jeffrey, causing the video to abruptly end)